He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
