whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
