What did we do last night that was yellow?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
