I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize