awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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