Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
