oh god the rape fog is back!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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