It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
