there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just found a bag of teeth...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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