Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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