I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
