why didn't you poke me back
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize