So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize