I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
