His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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