You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
