Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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