What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
