I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
