What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
