Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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