i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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