I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
