Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize