I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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