What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
