i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
