why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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