I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
