So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
