When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
