Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
