did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
