So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just forgot I was standing up.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
