Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
