At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize