he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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