So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
