I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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