Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
