what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
