is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
