well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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