you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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