don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
