It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
