2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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