But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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