Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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