Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
