my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
