the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
