Kiss
Puke
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
