This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
