she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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