and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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