i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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