I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize