yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
