I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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