sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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