I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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