Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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